oh god what did i do
IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT
when you find that perfect gif but don’t know how to use it
You can reverse the flow of the hotdogs if you concentrate hard enough
oh my god you can
This is a situation where I would want to get up and scream “exactly” but it’s just so on point that ima just be quiet.
🔱 queenxmedusa 🔱
(Source: almatranquila, via melodiousmemories)
(Source: shejla21, via notardisnoscrewdriver)
today i was talking about christmas traditions with my class and they started talking about Christmas beetles and I was like….what?
apparently they’re beetles that come out around christmas time and everyone calls them christmas beetles. my kids were so excited about them it was hilarious.
filing this under “list of reasons australia is a potentially terrifying place”
wait christmas beetles aren’t a thing outside australia?
Towards the end of March, my wife Martha will give birth to our first child. We are naturally very excited and doing all kinds of preparing to be as ready as possible. Unlike a lot of people these days, we’ve declined to find out the sex of the baby. We’d like to be surprised and we’ll love it either way. I mean, what are we going to do, stencil shotguns on the bedroom wall if it’s a boy or pre-register it for beauty pageants if it’s a girl?
A couple ran onto my roof and starting breaking up, right in front of a bunch of people who were just up there hanging out. I live tweeted the breakup.
There is a little boy somewhere in Oklahoma that has grown up in a difficult situation at home and takes his anger out daily on the ‘faggot’ in his class. There is a high school student in Texas that grew up in an evangelical Christian household and after years of suppression, he acts out by ridiculing and violently beating other boys that he’s actually attracted to deep down inside. These imagined representations of already disturbed youth are real and exist in great numbers and they will listen to your album come Christmas time. And they’ll hear you say:
'I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half.'
…I can guarantee you that somewhere some child is listening to you sing about breaking tables over the backs of faggots. And that child doesn’t understand or give a shit about your asinine and semantically flawed defense of the word’s use. That child has an adult of influence and power in their ears using the same words and inciting the same images of violence that they put into practice when they bully kids in the locker room. And at some point in 2014, as sad as it is to say, another child will be dead as a result.
…Like it or not, you do have blood on your hands as you contribute to a collective homophobia that pushes people to death. No amount of denial or self-delusion can ever wash that away. — Dear Eminem: You Will Have Blood on Your Hands by John J. Caswell Jr. (via maryjanehella)
(Source: softrocklevi, via maryjanehella)